Without Hesitation

As we all become adults, and make our way through the adult world, we find it increasingly difficult to remember experiences from our childhood. We forget faces, names, places, and often experiences. My earliest memory is a teddy bear picnic in primary where I took my mother's teddy bear and nearly dropped him in a pond full of tadpoles.

It's the earliest memory I have, and the only one I have from primary.

I remember a lot about Grade 6. It was the year that my sister moved to BC. But before she did, she came skiing with me for my first time on my school trip. It was the year that I attended my first concert, experienced my first memorable hurricane.

It was the year my Nanny passed.

I remember certain things about our Nanny. I remember her nightgowns, her skirts, her laugh. I remember laying in her bed with her, just enjoying her company. But because I was only about 12, I don't remember everything, and it's harder 11 years later to remember at all. And I worried that as I got older, those memories would continue to slip away from me.

About 2 years ago, Mom was cleaning out her drawers and her closet. She found a broach that belonged to Nanny. I saw it and thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Mom told me I could have it, and I took it delicately and put it into a jewelry box. I think it was last year I put it on my winter coat. This winter, I have never received more compliments in my life than I do on that piece of glittering jewelery I wear so proudly. Compliments and admiration that come from friends, coworkers, teachers and fellow students. They come from store clerks, bus drivers, strangers who sit down next to me on the bus, people I pass in a store. With every compliment, thoughts of Nanny come flittering back to me, and I'm reminded of all those memories I fear will disappear. Because my response? Is always, without hesitation,

Thanks, it was my Nanny's.