The anger swells in my guts, and i won't feel these slices and cuts

More Snow Patrol lyrics. I'm hooked, what can I say?
So the past few days have been quite tiresome. I find myself seemingly losing control of everything around me and it has me quite disgruntled. It's as though everything is falling apart and try as I may, I cannot piece it back together.
Have you ever had one of those times where you've completely forgotten who you are, what you're doing here, what purpose you serve if any? I feel like I don't know myself, the self that I've become. I find myself mourning the loss of the dedicated, determined, goal-seeking girl I once was. I feel like I've lost my best friend and I have no way to get her back.

I'm still at a loss for school. I still have no clue what I'm doing, where I want to go, what I want to achieve. Therefore I still haven't registered, haven't applied for student loans, and I'm not able to. Throw in the fact that I now have to start paying $132.00 on my student loans every month, I somehow have to pay for my internet, phone, and gas. Then we can't forget the fact that I am no longer covered under Dad's health plan so now everytime something goes wrong health wise, or I need to go to the dentist, I have to pay for it myself. What else you may ask? I have to save up, somehow, to buy a car and save money for school. Why? Because once I apply for student loans if I ever figure things out, they're going to see how much I worked and expect me to have saved a lot of it. Well let's remember this, I SUCK at saving money. A vacation to England, I may as well forget it.

I've really hit an all time low. The sad thing is, I'm starting to stop caring.